Diving In

A change of attitude. This is actually a huge thing. Even throughout the entire time I lost my weight before I got pregnant I did not have this attitude.

Basically there are two ways I can do this weight loss thing.

Mess around and lose slowly OR

Be serious and lose faster.

I realized that I was date nights and special occasions were starting to be something I sort of dreaded. Because they always consisted of eating WAY too many sweets (because cheat time only lasts so long you know) and the entire time I would be thinking (while feeling FAT) that I couldn't wait until I was back to eating RIGHT again and feeling like I was getting thinner. The scales would be UP the next day and sometimes take a few days to get back down again. I start feeling like I am on a roll and BAM, another date night! (Or some other special occasion!) Repeat, repeat, repeat!

But the thought of giving up my cheat times was horrible.

But guess what? I am two month postpartum and down how much weight (after the initial baby loss) ?

NONE........Well ok, I can't quite say that.........I am down 3-4 more LBS but pretty much NONE.

I have wasted 2 months!!!!!! The sad thing is that I have done EXCELLENT 75% of the time. Then you have all of the cheat times! They are enough to keep me from losing. I am SICK of that! I am SICK of the way I feel when I am not eating right. I HATE feeling fat and that is exactly what I feel like when I am eating badly.

So I was dreading Thanksgiving. Eating ON plan for Thanksgiving seemed ridiculous and HORRIBLE! That wonderful Thanksgiving dinner? Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, fresh rolls with lots of butter, desserts desserts and more desserts! This is something that is not ever going to change around our house. And we don't even WANT it to. We aren't a family who will ever cut out white flour and sugar completely.

BUT, it hit me. For NOW I need to get serious. This isn't a forever thing. Once I am at my goal weight I can enjoy more crossovers/sugar treats. But for now? I can't afford it. Not to say that I plan on getting to goal weight and going back to the way I used to eat. Not at all. I don't EVER plan on quitting the THM concepts. This is for life for me. But right now, I am undoing damage that I have done and it is going to take being EXTRA strict if I don't want it to take 10 years. When I am at goal weight, I can be more liberal, but that doesn't mean I plan on STOPPING. No way! This is all about being healthy for me.

I am not saying that I won't have ANY Thanksgiving sugary treats because I am going to . But instead of looking at it as a day to cheat all day. I am going to stick on plan as much as possible. Not cheat as much as I can just because I can. I am making LOTS of THM treats and will be eating very few off plan things.

I am so excited and relieved to know that I am not going to be going backwards here in a few days but instead, I can end Thanksgiving atLEAST staying where I am at, if not going forward just a little.

I am sick of going forward forward forward BACKWARDS BACKWARDS forward forward forward forward forward BACKWARDS BACKWARDS BACKWARDS forward forward BACKWARDS BACKWARDS forward forward forward BACKWARDS BACKWARDS.

See my pattern? I would love it to look something like this........

forward forward forward forward forward forward forward STANDSTILL forward forward forward BACKWARDS forward forward forward forward forward STAND STILL STAND STILL forward  forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward BACKWARDS.

I don't mind treats now and then as they come up in life. But there is a BIG difference in going to visit my dh at work and being offered a doughnut, eating it, and then getting right back on plan OR literally eating as much junk as I can all day every Saturday.

I DO still plan on using small amounts of sugar (as I described before in another post) as long as the carbs are within the limits. I have no problems with that. I am just going to quit the planned cheats. (Except for real chocolate.........We always have real chocolate on date nights. But THAT is not my problem. It is the eating sweets ALLLLLL day and night that causes me a problem.)

I am going to continue my breakfast-lunch-afternoon snack- supper- dessert  pattern. That has been plenty of food for me. If I do need something more to eat after my evening dessert, I am going to make it FP.

I want to try and lose 2 lbs a week on average. If I don't, I don't. But I think it is very doable if I stop so much cheating.

The cheats are NOT worth me being 20 LBS down after 5 months instead of 40 ! Not at ALL!

I have SO many THM desserts that I LOVE. Instead of putting so much energy into planning cheat times, I am putting my creativity into making up THM desserts. 

Enjoying your food does not have to be unhealthy or fattening. I can either be full and satisfied, knowing that I didn't go BACKWARDS, or full and satisfied knowing that I went BACKWARDS and have to work it off now. There is no question which direction I am going to go!

I have spent WAY too many days of my life feeling fat and miserable. Feeling depressed because I don't feel good about myself. Wanting to lose weight but failing failing.

Then I made soooooooooo much progress after my 7th baby's birth and did SO welll al throughout my 8th. Better than EVER.

I will NOT stop. I WILL keep this up and get to my goal.

So all that to say? I am so excited about planning my THM menu tonight and I am SO relieved that I don't have days coming up that I have to feel horrible about and feel like I am GROWING instead of SHRINKING!

Horray!!! I can't tell you how wonderful it feels.