Saturday, January 7, 2012

HOW?

In the world did I GET here?????????

I was baffled today when I read Grace's blog on weight loss that she just started.She is 166! (Sorry Grace but....) Whoopeeeeee lol. That SOOOOOOO seems like NOTHING to me right now! I would be THRILLED to be at that weight! HOW did I ever allow myself to weigh this much? It honestly scares me.

Don't get me wrong Grace,I was that weight before conceiving my 4th child and I was so depressed at how much I weighed.JUST as depressed as I am now.I was SO embarrassed by my weight! Well,I was absolutley embarrassed of my weight when I was 158 and 149!!!!! Sickening!

I just want to cry when I think about it.

Then..........Titus is TOOOOOOO good of  a sleeper.He does't wake at night like the others to nurse! I had some spotting and last night my left ear was hot and my right one was NOT lol.That has been a sign of pregnancy for me.

WHAT IN THE WORLD?

What in the world would I do if I got pregnant??????? I have been assuming that I would have a year like I always do.

Of course I would welcome another baby ANYTIME 100% but I can tell you that if I got pregnant right now I would be SO immaculate about my eating/health/fitness.NO MESSING AROUND.It would scare me to death.

I will be back to posting my food log tomorrow!

15 comments:

  1. Oh, I could have written this word for word, Angie. I would praise God so joyously if He were to bless me with another so soon after Josiah, but the weight issue scares me!! It is honestly the only reason I would hope that God gives me a little "space" this time around. How sad is that? That I would WANT to postpone a blessing simply because I have been irresponsible when it comes to my weight!? *sigh* And, 166 is 4 pounds less than my goal weight ... *another big sigh*. Okay. Enough sighing ... time to get to work to DO something about the situation I have gotten myself in!! :) Thanks for sharing your journey with all of us!

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  2. Thanks for being so honest!

    Whatever God has in store for you, He will also help you too! Did you share in another post how much weight you are hoping to lose? I have about 25 lbs. once I get my exercise blog going I'll share my goals. :)

    Sorry I just saw your weight tracker on the side here. You can do it!

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  3. (((HUGS))) Stop looking at someone else's weight, Angie. That is one of the easiest ways to become discouraged. Everyone has their own battles and struggles. I know you know that. Keep your chin up. Focus on doing well TODAY.

    You seem to have been spending a lot of time looking back. And may I say this in a loving manner... while looking back and LEARNING from your past is a GOOD thing, looking back and bemoaning the past is NOT fruitful.

    And one other thing... you can't go saying that about the pregnancy and not offer to take a test!

    I am praying for strength of heart for you today and for encouragement. Do the next thing. And stop looking at the last thing. :)

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  4. Don't you dare let me discourage you ONE BIT!!!!!!!!!

    Keep in mind, I'm really short. And really young. And TRYING desperately to nip this in the bud (thanks to you!!!).

    I KNOW that you can do it!!!!

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  5. Grace you did not discourage me ONE BIT! I was just thinking back (as Brandy said lol).

    I am actually VERY ENCOURAGED because I KNOW that I have finally had enough.I just can't believe that I let it get THIS FAR.

    You are right though Brandy.......Dwelling on it much won't help anything.It is done!

    Is anyone else amazed though that they weigh THAT much more than they used to? If I ever knew that I would weigh this much I would NOT have believed it!

    Oh well.....I have 7 beautiful babies to show for it and they are oh so worth it.(Although I don't believe the weight gain was necessary in order to have them.)

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  6. You can do it, Angie! Weight loss is so hard, and after the sixth was the first time I realized it really is all about my diet. I've always been active, but an eater! That didn't matter when I was younger and not a mom, but now it's a problem.

    I slipped back into my sugary habits over the holidays, but I'm mad about it too, and trying to get back on the wagon. I really do feel so much better.

    Let me know if you need any encouragement or ideas! I don't have a weight loss blog, but I really do need to start a food journal - it would help me a lot I'm just stubborn.

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  7. Umm...so....when are you testing??? :)

    I love what Brandy said, you can only look forward from here! Take the lessons you've learned and apply them, but there's no good in seeing what you should've, could've, would've done! (Interesting how that logic applies to ALL of life!!!)

    Love you friend and you are doing GREAT!!

    (P.S. Again I ask....when are you testing????? LOL!!!)

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  8. Well Cathy I need LOTS of encouragment! lol Whenever you feel in the mood to encourage,just stop on by! lol *MY* problem is SWEETS and carbs 100%.We actually eat very healthy.....Sweets.......Those terrible sweets.....lol I have a great plan going on though.

    Elizabeth and Brandy,I wanted to get a test today but Scott did not feel like stopping at the store...I didn't tell him I wanted to get a test lol.Then he DEFINITELY would not have stopped! lol

    If I was pregnant he woudl flip lol.NOT that he wouldn't be happy,he would.But he always worries about the midwife bill a little.....

    I would so be shocked if I was pregnant......The thought is actually exciting.Crazy that I would think like that after wanting to lose all of this weight but I can't NOT be excited about a new baby....

    I can't even IMAGINE what our families woudl think.........Wow lol.

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  9. Ailene aka MyLovesmyLifeJanuary 7, 2012 at 2:58 PM

    I find this very encouraging Angie. I think ur 13lb plan is a very good one. Praying for you!! :)

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  10. Angie! I'm right there with you! I just know any day I'm going to be expecting again and I haven't lost but 10 0pounds in 14 months!!!! If I got pg now and gained like I have with rest...ohhhh it would be bad! I'll start mine tomorrow!

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  11. LOL, Angie! I at first had the same thought. "I wish I looked like that". But any extra weight is embarrassing to all of us. Don't worry about what tomorrow will hold. Just think about today. Let the Lord take care of the rest. And of course be sensible with your habits. In other words, do what you can, and leave the rest to the Lord.

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  12. Oh, and yes, Angie... there was a time where I 100% believed I would shoot myself if I ever hit 200 pounds. :( I didn't just "say" that... shamefully... I truly BELIEVED it.

    I SO can't wait for you to test. It could be the reason for that questionable day when we were visiting. Wow!

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  13. I started a health blog today http://sugarsensitivemama.wordpress.com

    Come see me!

    (And I think I'm like Scott... I rarely test, I just wait in denial until I can't deny it anymore... ha!)

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  14. Angie, I can definitely relate to the whole "How did I get here?" thing. I weigh about 60 pounds more than I did when I got married 17 years ago and about 100 pounds more than I did when I was a senior in high school 25 years ago. That is so scary!!! It just becomes overwhelming when I look at the huge amount of weight I need to lose, so I'm mentally breaking it down into manageable amounts, like you've done. Start with 20 pounds, then lose another 20, and if I can lose 60 pounds total I'll feel like a success! :)

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  15. You guys (or gals) are great!

    Brandy lol I SO know what you mean about the shooting yourself part.I wouldn't have done that (and I know you wouldn't either) but I probably would have had a heart attack and died lol.

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